we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
