I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
