I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
