It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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