I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
