Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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