Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
