May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
