evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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