Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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