we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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