lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
