you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
