grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
