His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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