week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
