I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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