dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize