just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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