i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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