He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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