she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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