Yo dont text me then not text me
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
