I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
