That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
