Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
