what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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