We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She's the barista slut.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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