Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
