great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize