love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
