Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
