he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
