ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
