Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
