I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
