if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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