dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
