well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
