Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
