guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
