I'm drive I can fine osifer
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
