and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
