you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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