i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
nutella sex= disaster
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
