Ambien. No doubt about it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I came so hard my ears popped.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
