I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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