At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
