FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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