His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize