me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
