I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
