I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
