i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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