Define "chronic" masturbator.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
