Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize