you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
