Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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