I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
